French Coach suggests All Blacks responsible for September 11 attacks

In yet another attack on New Zealand rugby, French Coach Bernard Laporte has told French sporting daily “Le’effluent” that he’s concerned that the All Blacks weren’t investigated after the attacks which destroyed the World Trade Centre building in New York 6 years ago.

“We know that the Taliban, the Iraqis, Al Qaeda….these groups were all looked into after the attacks. But the fact is that the All Blacks weren’t even mentioned. This tells me that they could well have gotten away with it”

Whilst All Black coaching staff laughed off the suggestion, sources suggest that behind closed doors the 3-Wise-Men are becoming increasingly irritated with Laporte’s outlandish claims about New Zealand rugby.

In the past Laporte has suggested that New Zealand rugby players are on performance enhancing drugs “cause they can”, as well as alluding to Richie McCaw’s involvement in the assassination of President Kennedy, despite this taking place 17 years before McCaw was born.

It’s believed that his obsession with baiting the All Blacks stems from the fact that they keep beating his side by large margins, even at home.

Insiders reveal that his behaviour has grown increasingly unusual in the last 12 months; he has taken to spitting on the ground every time someone says “All Blacks”, and he also blames NZ Coach Graham Henry for killing his father in some kind of duel, and has sworn revenge. Rumours suggest he even has an elaborate speech prepared for when they next meet, but some sources contest that it’s just the one from The Princess Bride with the names changed.

The irony of course is that Laporte becomes the French Minister for Sport after this year’s world cup. His suggestions of a lax stance against drugs in sport in the Southern Hemisphere will be sharply drawn into focus as he tackles the issue of the Tour de France, a race where the entry criteria include at least 2 positive drug tests.