Join The Hayman's Beard World Cup Challenge!

Hayman's Beard have set up an official challenge over at Telecom Virtual Rugby, and we want to challenge you!

To register and take part in the competition, head over to Telecom Virtual Rugby and register! Go to "Mates" and select "Challenge" and then "Join a challenge".

The challenge name to search for is The Official Hayman's Beard World Cup Challenge, and the password to use is thebeard.

We're going to organise some cool prizes for the winners, so spread the word and take on the world with the Hayman's Beard Challenge.

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Wales 27 Argentina 20

Hayman's Beard had picked Argentina to win this one, and they were also our big hopes of the World Cup. No, they can't win it. But advancing as far as the semis had not seemed beyond them, and few results would be as good for the game worldwide. Wales have cast doubt on that with their win on Saturday, where the Argies played like utter bollox in the first half.
Wales were relatively clinical in their approach, a much improved performance from the English whipping of 2 weeks ago, yet against a Puma's side playing this badly you would expect little else.

It wasn't until the second half that Argentina started to play with some structure instead of helter-skelter football, and made a real contest of it.
Neither team look like serious World Cup challengers, and with Argentina especially having a gold opportunity to qualify second on their pool, both have a lot of work to do and not much time to do it in.

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France 22 England 9

France proved what many of us have been saying all year: England are shithouse. A freakish win over a Welsh side who weren't even sure what game they were playing had provided a glimmer of hope for the World Champions, yet France took no notice of the increasing English bravado and outplayed England in every single aspect of the game.

Little positive can be said about England's prospects. Their forwards, impressive even against the hapless Welsh, and even against France last week, looked uncommitted and weak, whilst their backs were completely exposed as the add-on unit they've been coached to be. The French looked dangerous from the word go, reversing doubts expressed since the first test where they looked well contained despite the win.

This time England were lucky that the margin wasn't greater. This result puts in doubt England's ability to advance beyond the quarters, while France once again look like one of the frontrunners.

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Japanese World Cup Squad: Know them before you judge them

Former All Black John Kirwan has only been the Japanese national coach since January (although he was an adviser since October last year), which hasn't given him a lot of time to prepare.
Despite bringing knowledge of Japanese rugby from his days playing for the NEC club, he simply wasn't prepared for the cultural challenges facing him in coaching the national team.

"The fact of the matter is that there's been little development in the national side over the years, which is mainly because the players keep killing themselves" the former Italian coach told Hayman's Beard.

"When I turned up to my first training last year, as an adviser rather than as coach, I was surprised to find only the reserves from the weekend's game at the ground. When I asked where the rest of the team was, I was told they'd all committed Hari-Kari, also known as Seppuku, after losing to Fiji"

Seppuku is the ancient Samurai art of ritual suicide, used when a warrior has been defeated or captured. It allows a person to kill themself, whilst restoring their honour.

"I knew that the Japanese team were warriors, and part of the thrill of coaching them is to be able to harness the Samurai spirit, but I can't get it through to them that this is taking it too far" said Kirwan.

Having to replace the majority of your squad every week or so is a daunting task, so when Japan took their only win of the Pacific Nations Cup, beating Tonga in June, Kirwan, and the team, were overjoyed.

"It was great not to have to learn any new names for a couple of weeks."

Special agreement has been reaching with the World Cup squad, with the players agreeing not to commit ritual suicide after each game; rather, they'll wait till they're eliminated from the tournament.

"It's the only compromise I could get out of them. They don't seem to understand how much progress Japan could make if they'd just keep playing and learning"

Japan World Cup Squad:
Forwards: Ryo Yamamura, Masahito Yamamoto, Tomokazu Soma, Tatsukichi Nishiura, Yuji Matsubara, Mitsugu Yamamoto, Hitoshi Ono, Takanori Kumagae, Luatangi Samurai Vatuvei, Luke Thompson, Takuro Miuchi (Captain), Yasunori Watanabe, Hajime Kiso, Hare Makiri, Philip O’Reilly, Takamichi Sasaki
Backs: Yuki Yatomi, Tomoki Yoshida, Eiji Ando, Kousei Ono, Shotaro Onishi, Nataniela Oto, Yuta Imamura, Koji Taira, Bryce Robins, Daisuke Ohata, Hirotoki Onozawa, Kosuke Endo, Christian Loamanu, Go Aruga

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Ireland 42 Bayonne 6: O'Driscoll in doubt for WC

Irish rugby fans were drunker than usual today following the injury to captain Brian O'Driscoll during their World Cup warm-up match with French club side Bayonne.
Whilst the result was beyond doubt by half time when the Irish led 20-6, O'Driscoll was punched by Mikaera Tewhata soon after the break, and was taken to hospital with a suspected broken jaw. If the initial diagnosis is confirmed, his place in the team will be in doubt with the first game, against Namibia, only 23 days away.

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Exclusive: Tuqiri and Dunning assigned chaperone

Emperor John O'Neill is not a man to be trifled with. So when he slapped a curfew and alcohol ban on 17-yeard olds Lote Tuqiri and Matt Dunning, they were left with no doubts about the consequences should they step out of line.

However Hayman's Beard can reveal today that the ARU have taken a further step, and assigned the dynamic duo a full-time chaperone.
Supernanny Jo Frost has signed with the ARU to supervise Tuqiri and Dunning until the end of the World Cup. Whilst no official comment was made regarding the signing, ARU insiders said that they expect Supernanny to be a key figure in keeping the two miscreants in line.

"There's little doubt that Supernanny has had an immediate impact. Twice already she's had Dunning on the naughty step at training for spitting, and Tuqiri has had to endure several "that is not acceptable behaviour" episodes after he refused to give the ball to the other players"

Neither Dunning nor Tuqiri were speaking about having Supernanny assigned to chaperone them day and night. When approached by reporters after a closed training session in Sydney, both players put their hands on their ears and ran off to the team bus screaming "la la la la la la".
Nanny Frost followed them and could be seen admonishing them on the bus shortly after.

We'll be following this story throughout the World Cup, as no doubt the biggest impact for the 2 players will be felt when they reach France, and they realise what a midnight curfew and booze-ban does to their social lives.

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Somerville's back: Better....stronger...faster...

After struggling through nearly a year of rehab for an achilles injury, All Black prop Greg Somerville was itching to play rugby again, and maybe, just maybe, work his way back into the black jersey. An accidental poke to the eye put paid to that, tearing his retina.

Yet when the selectors named their squad to take to the World Cup, a place was left blank for Somerville. He was given the chance he needed to prove his fitness, but just when things were going well, the eye injury brought the whole thing to a halt.

In a desperate attempt to prove he was fully fit, he began talks with leading surgeons from Europe, as well as robotic experts from Japan. Flying to Germany for the procedure, Somerville's left eye was removed and replaced with a bionic optical unit. It was only the third time the operation had been attempted, and in an effort to reduce recovery time the procedure was conducted without anesthetic.

Flying home the next day, Somerville, still bandaged, spoke of the risks he was taking.
"I spose it could have gone worse. Seems ok now, a little bit sore. No major."

When the bandages were removed 3 days later, doctors were amazed.
"He had perfect vision immediately. Other than some swelling around where the implant is fused to the skull, the operation is a complete success" said Doctor Weiner Schnitzelson, the German surgeon who performed the operation.

IRB rules meant that some of the advances features of the implant had to be removed, such as the Infra-Red and X-Ray options, as well as the laser cutting beam.

Regardless, Somerville was rewarded with confirmed inclusion in the squad that will travel to France. Whilst he says that some of his teammates have been giving him some stick over the eye, it doesn't worry him.
"I'm just happy to be playing again, even if I do make babies cry...more."

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Facial Hair of The Week: Carl Hayman's Twin

Holy deja vu Beardman!

A loyal reader, Dean Purcell, sent us through a pic of this week's Facial Hair of The Week. Certainly we were taken aback by the resemblance of Lyle Alzado to the great man himself, down to The Beard.

Further investigation unearthed some further surprising facts. Alzado was an NFL player who played for the Denver Broncos, Cleveland Browns, and LA Raiders throughout the 70's and 80's.

He was known for his intimidating style, and amassed various records and accolades as a Defensive End throughout his career, culminating in a Superbowl win in 1983 with the Raiders.

Later in life he admitted to steroid use which tainted his otherwise excellent career, and he died of brain cancer at the age of 43.

There are several analysts at Hayman's Beard who promote the theory that The Beard is some kind of symbiotic creature which bonds with those deemed worthy of greatness. Could The Beard of Hayman be a continuation of The Beard of Alzado? Unlikely, but stranger things have happened...

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France 12 England 15

Hayman's Beard made fun of England after their effort against Wales last week. Not because of their huge win over the hapless Welsh, but because of the manner of their victory. 10-man rugby is back, and doesn't it just make you want to kill yourself.
No one could accuse Hayman's Beard of not embracing the glorious battle of the forwards, of not understanding and respecting the intricacies of the scrum, the ruck, the maul. The Bearded One is himself a Master of this very art, and nothing is more pleasing to the eye than to see an All Black forward pack treating the opposition like the ginger kid from primary school.

But there is of course a key difference between the forward play of the All Blacks...or indeed the Springboks, the Pumas, or France.

And that is the understanding that the forwards operate as part of a unit. They are an element of a larger beast, a machine designed to dominate in all areas and win in commanding fashion.

As it stands, England have scurried back to their oft-lampooned style of old. The 10-man game is well and truly alive in international rugby.

Whilst Hayman's Beard would like nothing better than to see Sir Clive Woodward embarrassed publicly by the publication of secret photos of him doing something nasty with a goat, we also respect the fact that he understood the game, and at least had a desire to embrace a 15 man style.

Like most teams around the world, he strived to use the traditional English strength of powerful forward play as a foundation, a basis which gave a team options. No one would expect England to turn from their natural style of play, which demands forward dominance as a goal above all others.

However it seems that Brian Ashton and the others controlling the World Champions have panicked as the date when they will undoubtedly lose their crown approaches.

And when panic sets in, people naturally turn to the tried and true methods.

The match against France was, to be frank, boring as hell. Whilst the forward battle raged, English attempts at backline action were conducted with the same enthusiasm and belief as American attempts at diplomacy in Iraq.

England have signalled the retreat, and established His Majesty Jonny Wilkinson as the front line.

"Thou shall not send thine ball beyond His Majesty's divine boot, lest thy come undone through weak tackling and poor execution in thine midfield"

With Wilkinson being rested, many would have expected replacement Ronnie Barker to try everything to stamp his mark on the spot. There's little doubt that only death will keep Wilkinson from an English WC squad, so there would be little to lose in unleashing the English backs upon the French. You'd certainly enjoy the element of surprise, although that may work both ways...no doubt the wingers would question why they'd suddenly been given the ball. But Ronnie kept to the gameplan, and England attempted to steamroll the French as they did Wales a week ago. That it didn't work is testament to the effort of the French forwards, as there's no doubt England's pack is performing very well at present.

The frustration of not seeing their hard work pay-off seemed to tell on the World Champions, who weren't prepared for Sebastian Chabal's busting run to win the game.

With no time left to change the gameplan, it seems that the old England is well and truly alive, and coming to a TV near you.

How well will the old-school approach work at the World Cup remains to be seen, but for the health of the game we can only hope it fails miserably.

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Wallabies begin to implode?

After a season that defied most pundit's expectations, off-field incidents and tension between coaches and management threaten to distract the Machperson Intimates Wallabies from their World Cup mission.

Not a week goes by without new allegations of ructions within the camp, or a new incident involving Wallaby players boozing into the night.

The latest issue surrounds the reaction of Wallabies Matt Dunning and Lote Tuqiri to the coverage of their involvement in an assault on a 52 year-old taxi driver.

Whilst a Gold Coast man has been charged by police, and there is no longer the suggestion that Tuqiri or Dunning were involved, both players were adamant that there shouldn't be an issue with their behaviour.

"What do they want to discipline me for? I'm flabbergasted - do I have to be Cinderella and be home by 12 o'clock?" said Dunning a day after the incident.

It's this attitude which has Australian Rugby Emperor John O'Neill livid.

The general feeling amongst the ARU hierarchy, and many members of the media, is that after a long period where off-field incidents have distracted the public from the mediocre results on the field, the Wallabies "need to be doing it better and cleaner than the other guy".

In isolation, perhaps there isn't anything wrong with Dunning and Tuqiri staying out till 5am drinking and partying. However when viewed as part of a team culture, it perhaps becomes less innocuous.

Despite their believe that they're regular guys who should be allowed to blow off steam like every other 20-something, the media, the fans, and indeed their employers hold them to a higher standard.

It's part of the reason they get paid a hell of a lot more than regular 20-somethings.

And it does nothing to ease tensions between the ARU and John Connelly's coaching team when Connelly supports the assertion that his players did nothing wrong.

This despite his advice several weeks ago in his Sydney Morning Herald column:
"By observing the 'Cinderella hour' … players would significantly reduce their chances of being caught up in off-field troubles."

It's an open secret that Connelly and Emperor John don't get along. However the beauty of dealing with O'Neill is that there can rarely be a misunderstanding when it comes to his expectations.

His expectations regarding team conduct were made clear upon his return to the throne earlier in the year. Some of his first comments were around cleaning up the off-field issues that had plagued the squad, leading to suspensions and fines.

No team is immune from it's players making mistakes; witness half-a-dozen All Blacks being fined by management for being out beyond a gentleman's-agreed curfew.
However an isolated incident can be put into perspective, and when it's the same players continually engaging in activity which can be viewed negatively, a pattern becomes apparent.

Do the Wallabies have a binge-drinking culture? Given that most incidents seem to involve the same few players, it seems unlikely. Sources suggest that senior team members are as frustrated as Emperor John with the behaviour of some team members, and that this may contribute to the Wallaby World Cup expedition being declared "booze-free", along with strict curfews being put in place.

When you look back over the past year, you see a team surrounded by issues; Coaches who don't get on, an ARU regime where infighting and politics dominate, players who spend more time in the news for drinking than for winning games...the list goes on.

It certainly puts the leadership at the NZRFU, and conduct of our top players into perspective.

The expectations of an entire nation no doubt do their part in keeping players in line, as does the thought of doing The Jersey a disservice, but it also helps to recall that The 3 Wise Men have spoken on several occasions about their goal to develop the All Blacks beyond The Game.

They have taken the time to ensure that the All Blacks are young men who have the skills to contribute to society, to understand the privileged position they have been granted, and to respect the boundaries it places upon them.

It would seem that the Wallabies lack the sense of perspective needed to understand just how lucky they are.

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Wallaby players brawl in public, injure taxi driver

Shocking news is coming out of Australia tonight which suggests that 2 members of the Macpherson Intimates Wallabies World Cup squad were involved in a fight in downtown Brisbane overnight. Lote Tuqiri and Matt Dunning were spotted exchanging blows inside the team's hotel, with Dunning apparently running through the hallways yelling "Don't make me run, I am full of chocolate".

Sources reveal that Tuqiri had argued with other players at a nightclub earlier, when they reportedly told him he shouldn't drink any more. It is believed that he was still agitated when the team returned to the hotel. A taxi driver was taken to hospital soon after, with witnesses claiming he was king-hit by a member of the Wallaby squad.

"The driver had jokingly tried to sell Lote some cocaine, after referring to him as Wendell for the entire trip back to the hotel" said one witness who wishes to remain anonymous. Whether this resulted in the punch being thrown is unknown at this time, as is the identity of the person who assaulted him.

Tuqiri reportedly proceeded to his room, which he was sharing with Dunning, only to find that both Toblerones were gone, as well as the Kit Kat and small packet of chips. Insiders say it was then that the giant winger began to chase the front-rower throughout the hotel, landing blows when he could.

Wallaby management deny that any players were involved in the assault on the taxi driver, although they were willing to concede that "Dunning did indeed appear to be full of chocolate"

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French Coach suggests All Blacks responsible for September 11 attacks

In yet another attack on New Zealand rugby, French Coach Bernard Laporte has told French sporting daily “Le’effluent” that he’s concerned that the All Blacks weren’t investigated after the attacks which destroyed the World Trade Centre building in New York 6 years ago.

“We know that the Taliban, the Iraqis, Al Qaeda….these groups were all looked into after the attacks. But the fact is that the All Blacks weren’t even mentioned. This tells me that they could well have gotten away with it”

Whilst All Black coaching staff laughed off the suggestion, sources suggest that behind closed doors the 3-Wise-Men are becoming increasingly irritated with Laporte’s outlandish claims about New Zealand rugby.

In the past Laporte has suggested that New Zealand rugby players are on performance enhancing drugs “cause they can”, as well as alluding to Richie McCaw’s involvement in the assassination of President Kennedy, despite this taking place 17 years before McCaw was born.

It’s believed that his obsession with baiting the All Blacks stems from the fact that they keep beating his side by large margins, even at home.

Insiders reveal that his behaviour has grown increasingly unusual in the last 12 months; he has taken to spitting on the ground every time someone says “All Blacks”, and he also blames NZ Coach Graham Henry for killing his father in some kind of duel, and has sworn revenge. Rumours suggest he even has an elaborate speech prepared for when they next meet, but some sources contest that it’s just the one from The Princess Bride with the names changed.

The irony of course is that Laporte becomes the French Minister for Sport after this year’s world cup. His suggestions of a lax stance against drugs in sport in the Southern Hemisphere will be sharply drawn into focus as he tackles the issue of the Tour de France, a race where the entry criteria include at least 2 positive drug tests.

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World Cup Injury Roundup

With the World Cup now only a month away, we take a brief look at who’s injured, who’s out, and who’s in, the various World Cup Squads, and make fun of other teams where we can.

All Blacks:
There’s an open space in the All Blacks squad for the World Cup, and it belongs to either Greg Sommerville or John Schwalger.
Sommerville was on the comeback trail from a ruptured achilles tendon when he suffered a torn retina after being accidentally poked in the eye. An operation to repair his eye went well, but he, Schwalger and the All Black selectors are still playing the waiting game.

Wales:
Gavin Henson was ruled out of the World Cup with an achilles injury, reportedly suffered during a particularly rough pedicure. Welsh hopes (their thrashing by England not withstanding) were somewhat lifted however when inspirational captain Stephen Jones was confirmed as being available by the time the tournament starts. Tom Jones is on standby, something which Welsh coach Gavin Jenkins described as “not unusual”.

Australia:
Flanker David Lyons continues to recover from the unusual treatment undergone for a blood clot in his calf in an attempt to make the World Cup. Doctors attempted to break down the clot with techniques normally used on cardiac patients. Lyons is hoping that this will mean he can avoid the normal 6-month layoff for this type of injury.
Chris Latham continues to improve after his return from ACL explosion. He played 20 minutes against the All Blacks in the Eden Park test, and although he’s experienced a few minor niggles in other areas since then, nothing has ruled him out at this stage.
Hayman’s Beard has money bet that he’ll snap his spine reaching for the marmite a week or so out from the first game, the poor bastard.

South Africa:
The Springboks have replaced Pierre Spies van der Westhuizen with Bismark du Pleissis van der Westhuizen in their World Cup squad, after the loose forward was ruled out with a blood clot on the lungs. Rumours of arguments between incumbent captain John Smit van der Westhuizen and surprise inclusion Nelson Mandela continue to surface, with no comment so far from the SA union.
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A call to all New Zealanders: Beards for World Cup Support

The time has come for all New Zealanders to show their support for the All Blacks as they enter the final stages of their World Cup build-up.

Hayman's Beard, the group calling on All Black prop Carl Hayman to grow back his beard, have now made a call for national unity, urging all kiwis to grow beards between now and the World Cup to show their support.
"Whilst our main focus is of course on the return of The Beard of Hayman, we also feel that the time is right to begin a national campaign to support the team as they head towards the World Cup" said a Hayman's Beard spokesperson.

"We are calling on all New Zealanders to abstain from shaving from now until the end of the All Blacks World Cup campaign, which we of course hope will end with victory in the final on October 20th"

With coverage of the campaign beginning to grow, Hayman's Beard is confident the people of New Zealand will get behind their efforts.

"Look at the Red Socks campaign during the Americas Cup. New Zealanders are incredibly passionate about their sporting teams, and we're sure that this will be no different"
"They key is for everyone to cease shaving immediately, so that the country can present a hairy front as a sign of our loyalty and support"

Join the campaign! Post below your intention to Beard Up in support of The All Blacks, and to convince Carl that The Beard must return.

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England bulldoze Wales, abandon team after game

The English forwards put on an impressive display of power rugby in crushing a Welsh side missing many top-line players on Sunday morning (NZT) to take a huge psychological boost ahead of 2 tests against France.

With Twickenham filled to capacity, the World Champions scored 9 tries in beating Wales 62-5, with No8 Nicholas Easter scoring 4.

The crowd appeared to relish the experience of an English team once again playing well, with a special cheer saved for the return of Lawrence Dallaglio off the bench.

The English enforcer looked fit and enthusiastic, belying his 79 years, in continuing the English tactic of rolling over the top of the Welsh pack, who appeared shell-shocked for the full 80 minutes.

The positional kicking of 13 year-old Johnny Wilkinson complimented their forward tactics perfectly, as did his goal kicking, nailing 7 from 9.

Despite the triumph, there were some embarrassed faces in the English camp the next day when it was revealed that several English players were left at Twickenham when the team bus left for the hotel after the game.

Reports indicate that once the forward pack had boarded the bus, team management waited for half-back Shaun Perry and Prophet Johnny Wilkinson before giving the go-ahead to the driver.
This left Mark Cueto, David Strettle, Dan Hipkiss, Andy Farrell and Jason Robinson all stranded at the stadium. After about an hour of confusion, the group all ended up sleeping on benches in the changing room.

At next morning’s recovery session, a photographer asked Head Coach Brian Ashton where the backline was. When Ashton pointed at Wilkinson, the photographer then asked about the rest of the backs.

A quick meeting between the coaching staff, including a head-count, soon revealed the error, and several urgent phonecalls were made. A bus was eventually dispatched back to Twickenham to pick up the missing players.

Asked about the incident later, Ashton was understandably coy about the real reasons for forgetting his backline.
“We had a problem with the headcount is all, and unfortunately we forgot some players. It shouldn’t happen again.”

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THE BEARD IS BACK

Take a moment to reflect, New Zealand. You have spoken, and the big man has answered.

The Beard is Back

Speaking after the win over Australia last week, Carl revealed that he knew about our campaign, and that he could recognise that "the people have spoken."

The wishes of a nation were partly answered on that cold, wet Auckland night, as Carl ran into battle with what could have been the beginning of The Beard.

But would it last? Was it simply an oversight? A lack of time before kick off which resulted in this growth?

It seems not. The Beard is indeed on its way back.

Words cannot describe the joy that is filling the hearts of New Zealand rugby fans as they realise that the All Blacks are once again armed with The Beard of Hayman.

With plenty of time before the World Cup for it to reach maximum power, we shudder to think of the carnage that awaits opposition teams in October.

Hayman's Beard analysts put the growth level post-Eden Park test at a little under 25,000 Bristlewatts, the scientific measure of a beard's power. Projections indicate that The Beard could reach its previous record of 65,000 BW in time for the pool games in September.

We at Hayman's Beard would like to thank each and every one of you for your support, and for getting behind the All Blacks.

And of course our thanks go out to the big man for recognising the importance of The Beard, and for doing the right thing.

With renewed energy and enthusiasm we now refocus our efforts on getting every man, woman and child who supports the All Blacks to grow a beard, to show that they're behind the Men in Black.

We've already shown what people power can do; Imagine our power when we all have great shaggy beards.

The possibilities are endless.
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Top 10 Bearded Movie Characters

A lively debated erupted at Hayman Towers the other day. We were discussing our favourite movies; always a contentious subject as it is. But throw in the question of favourite bearded movie characters, and things soon escalate.

Several members of the team are still being treated for minor injuries, and one of our analysts is still recovering from surgery. It was one of the hairiest fights I’ve witnessed since the campaign started (pun intended).

Eventually we settled on our top 10 favourite bearded movie characters. It wasn’t an easy exercise, and once we had our top 10 we wisely avoided any attempt to rank them further.

So here they are, in no particular order: Hayman’s Beard’s Top 10 Favourite Bearded Movie Characters.

Jules Winnfield – Pulp Fiction
The very definition of cool, Jules used his beard to intimidate and enforce, much like Hayman himself. The difference of course is that the big man is the strong, silent type…although wouldn’t it be cool to hear “and I shall strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger” coming from the front row just before the ref yells “engage”?

Gandalf – The Lord of The Rings
Filmed locally of course, and that alone means that the beard power is pretty intense. You can go on about how it was the innocence of Frodo that made it possible to destroy the ring and defeat the bad guys, but they wouldn’t have gotten far without a kick-ass wizard with a huge white beard. In fact wizards without beards are probably illegal. And if they aren’t, they should be.

Pai Mei – Kill Bill
Speaking of huge white beards, you can’t go past the old Kung Fu master when it comes to harnessing the power of the beard. The guy takes out people’s eyes. With his beard. Ok, that might not be 100% accurate, but you can’t deny that he takes it past the Bruce Lee level with the help of that mighty chin decoration.

John Patrick Mason – The Rock
One of the most contentious choices was which Sean Connery character to include in the list. This is the man who sports a beard cause he likes it, not just because the character calls for it. The early running went with Henry Jones, Indiana’s father, but it was decided that he just didn’t kick enough ass. But as Mason in epic action flick The Rock, he takes out a platoon of rogue marines on Alcatraz, despite having been in prison for 30 years. And his beard at the start, before the trim, is outstanding.

King Leonidas – 300
It may not bee 100% accurate, but the beard factor in 300 more than makes up for it. When you consider that this guy actually existed, and actually had a beard (probably), it’s an impressive story. His passion and courage are echoed 2,500 years later in The Beard of Hayman and the rest of the All Blacks. We look forward to our scrum doing the same thing to the opposition as the Spartans did to the Persians.

Captain Jack Sparrow – Pirates of the Caribbean
We were threatened with all sorts of things by the women at Hayman Towers if we didn’t include Captain Jack. Their passion for his beard was immense, although we suspect we may have misunderstood their enthusiasm. Either way, he’s a great character, and his beard is certainly one of the most creative ones on our list.

Hans Gruber – Die Hard
Probably the coolest bad guy ever, Hans Gruber made Bruce Willis’s life hell in Nakatomi Tower. Oozing power and arrogance, his beard gave him the intelligence required to pull off a heist on a scale never seen before. In the original version he kills Bruce and takes off with the money alone, the only one of his team to survive. That was before Bruce demanded the ending be changed, resulting in the highly unlikely scenario of the clean shaven hero beating the bearded villain.
Pffft, as if.

Jack Torrance – The Shining
What a psycho. It’s always tragic when a beard is used for evil, as it does make things hard for the good guys. In this case though it does provide us with a classic performance, with the insanity amplified by the hairy growth sported by Jack.

Obi Wan Kenobi - Star Wars (both of them)
Alec Guinness gives a faultlessly hairy performance in the original film as Obi Wan Kenobi, one of the few Jedi to survive the slaughter by the Sith. And how did he survive? Cause he had a beard. When George Lucas decided to prove those who said he couldn’t write dialogue right by making the prequels, Ewen McGregor stepped into the young Kenobi’s robes, and by the third film, was sporting a wonderful chin-warmer that gave him a certain air of authority, and no doubt made his Jedi vow of celibacy much harder to keep.

Clubber Lang – Rocky II
What more can we say?

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Hayman's Beard on TV3's Sports Tonight

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International Beard Power: Fear The Beard

The power of The Beard is recognised around the world, and nowhere more than in California.


The gentlemen at http://www.fearthebeard.org/ have a wonderful site dedicated to their support of NBA side The Golden State Warriors, as well as their love of the whole East Bay area. They've united their people behind The Beard, and after we contacted them to express our admiration, they were kind enough to post about us. So we'd also like to acknowledge our Bearded Brothers from across the Pacific. We've suggested the ABs play their local side from the University of California, but the NZRFU have yet to respond for some strange reason.
We appreciate their support, and their appreciation of The Beard.

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